Your school recently organised a sports day for all the students. Follow the instructions below and write a blog post about that school sports day.
- Describe the event.
- Give your personal opinion of the event.
- Suggest two improvements for next year’s sports day.
- Make a request for photos and video clips of the sports day
- Grammar and spelling: The writing is full of flaws, basic flaws on word and sentence level. The grammar points Passive was abused and does not carry the desired effects on reader. The use of native language such as “Nhay day”, “Nhay sap” is not appropriate. Some long phrase or sentence should have been replace by single words. Some of the utterances was repeated twice. Grade: 3/10
- Word choice: The student has misused the word Sports. Some of the word chose hinder the reader’s understanding. But the use of descriptive adjectives is quite various and suitable for such a sports event on the text. Grade: 4/10
- Clearance and cohesion: The blog post is relatively cohesive through the connectors. Most of the errors is non-impeding, so a little effort is required of the reader. effect. Grade: 5/10
- Task achievement: The blog failed to cover the last point on task, that is, to make a request for media captured on the event. Grade: 7/10.
- Final grade: ?.?? points
A few months ago, my school spent a day for students to compete sports. It’s took part in by all the students from grade 10 and 11. The competition was really fantastic. There were many different sports such as “Nhảy dây”, “Nhảy sạp” and so on. Some teachers prepared food and drink for us. The thing I like best is we were served folk music at school yard. I love it. That day is very enjoyable, interesting and memorable for me.
In my way, I think the school should organised more and more other sports to play. And have some big prize for us.
How about you? Have you had a sports day in your school?
- Grammar and spelling: The student blog post about school post days struggles to achieve the requirement of the task. The use of language such as structure and vocabulary is limited and simplistic. There are some errors would impede the communication. Grade: 3/10
- Word choice: The limited vocabulary is obvious on the text: student describe some basic words. The blog post is lacking the descriptive vocabulary for an event, especially for the outdoor or sport events. Grade: 5/10
- Clearance and cohesion: The blog post is relatively incoherent. Overall, reader may need considerable effort for reading it. Grade: 3/10
- Task achievement: This student blog post about school post days answer fully the task. Grade: 10/10.
- Final grade: 5.00 points
Hi everyone! How a long time I didn’t post anything on my blog! Now, I’m telling you a sports day for all students in my school.
It was a nice day with a lot of activities which was participated. There were many sports such as football, badminton, tennis, volleyball, etc, and students were interested in that. My school celebrated competitions for each of sports, and the one or the team who won would get the medals, teddies. Surprisingly, I got a silver medal for badminton competion! There were also some talk shows to exchange the players’ experience for each other. The vibe was so crowed.
In my opinion the participation is a great idea. It’s useful for everyone, special for students. However, I think it shold have some carteen to serve food, drinks for participants. In next year’s sports day, I greatly hope that it will be celebrated under shadows.
Anyway, if you have photos and video clip of the sports day in our school, please share them to me. I love you guys so bad! Looking forward to your interaction.
- Grammar and spelling: This blog post about school post days should be greatly improved to achieve the desired effect on target reader. Fragment and run-on sentences are present on the text. The use of language is relatively restricted and erratic, which lead to the ambiguity and misunderstanding on the communication. Grade: 3/10
- Word choice: The limited range vocabulary is obvious on the text: some basic words have been repeated. Some descriptive vocabulary should have been added to make the event more lively on the text. Grade: 4/10
- Clearance and cohesion: The blog post is relatively cohesive. But again, fragment and run-on sentences make the blog post is far more ambiguous. Overall, reader may need considerable effort for reading it. Grade: 3/10
- Task achievement: The blog has not answer the last point on task: to request for photo or video shot on that day. Grade: 7/10.
- Final grade: ?.?? points
My school organised a sport day to all the students can participate. The event concluded four competitions. They are volleyball, football, badminton and run race. As far as I see this is a great event for most of students and especialy some boys. And a special thing I see that people can feel the fun when they play some sports. I certainly agree with the opinion that organizing next year’s sports day. But I wanna improve it two things. Firstly, I want to suggest the school should sell foods for students, they can enjoy the food and watch the matches, two in one. Secondly, school should organised some small activites to students can enjoy when they were bored with the matches. Taking a photo or making a video clips is good, they can share for everyone about fun activities of school, it’s not bad. In general, I think organised a sports day is great idea.