Essay practice: A university abroad

There are some of the students’ essays for the topic: More students should do their degree at a university abroad rather than in their own country. Do you agree? In these pieces of writing, they will examine the pros and cons of university abroad. Let’s take a look at their task responses on Grammar and spelling; Word choice; Clearance and cohesion, and finally, Task achievement

 

Lee’s essay:

  • Grammar and spelling: plentiful of grammar faults, some of which are very basic. Even though the relative clause has been taught in this unit, the text exposes a formula error for this grammar point. Not so many the complex sentences. Grade: 3/10
  • Word choice: Some words have been repeated twice or three times: study, country, … Most of the vocabulary is from A2 or B1 (CEFR) range. Some are not relevant for a formal essay such as lots of, in spite of, get, … Grade: 5/10
  • Clearance and cohesion: The essay is relatively cohesive through the connectors, but missing at the beginning of the second paragraph. Some sentences are ambiguous. Use of rhetorical questions is abused and does not bring a good effect. Grade: 5/10
  • Task achievement: The essay covers all the questions about the topic. Grade: 10/10.
  • Final grade: 5.75 points

Jane’s essay

 

 

  • Grammar and spelling: some minor and major grammar errors found. Most of the sentences in the text are simple ones; only the last one is a complex structure (conditional sentence). Grade: 4/10
  • Word choice: “Knowledge” is repeated twice or three times. Most of the vocabulary is from A2 or B1 (CEFR) range. Some are not relevant for a formal essay such as lots of, good, … Grade: 4/10
  • Clearance and cohesion: The essay is relatively cohesive through the connectors. Grade: 7/10
  • Task achievement: The essay covers all the questions about the topic, although she repeats the question. Grade: 8/10.
  • Final grade: 5.75 points

Peter’s essay

 

 

  • Grammar and spelling: a great number of grammar error found in the essay (more than 15 ones). There are two words not in English. Student coined in these when writing essays. Grade: 3/10
  • Word choice: Many words are repeated twice or three times such as university, country, … Most of the vocabulary is from A2 or B1 (CEFR) range. Some are not relevant for a formal essay such as wanna, big, … The use of somebody, someone,… is abused and not relevant. Grade: 3/10
  • Clearance and cohesion: The essay is relatively cohesive through the connectors, but wrong in the last paragraph. Grade: 7/10
  • Task achievement: The essay covers all the questions about the topic, although he repeats the question. Grade: 8/10.
  • Final grade: 5.25 points

Therefore, all students must improve their essay to achieve better writing grade.

Please check the writing handout and re-work your writing.

 

 

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